Self-esteem or Pride?

Psychologists of recent vintage have urged today’s parents to help their children develop self-esteem. To achieve that goal the parent should not criticize, correct, discipline, or even instruct with any degree of authority, the child under their care. 

Under these rules it is difficult to carry on a conversation in the presence of the child without constant interruptions. It is virtually impossible to show a child how to do something correctly if he has in mind his own way of doing it. To tell a child that something is either right or wrong is to infringe upon his right to decide for himself. Consequently, we are enduring a generation of undisciplined social wanderers. 

The Bible is much more concerned about pride than low self-esteem. In 1 Samuel 2:3, Hannah prayed as she left her weaned son, Samuel, to serve the Lord in the Temple, “Talk no more so exceeding proudly; let not arrogancy come out of your mouth: for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed.” She knew that God had a problem with pride and she did not want God to have a problem with her son. 

The book of Proverbs makes direct points on subjects like this. For example, Proverbs 6:16-19 says, “These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.” Did you notice that pride heads the list, two places before murder? God has a problem with pride, in us or in our children. 

The apostle Paul writes in Romans 12:3, “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.” Yes, there is allowance for some self-esteem in “think of himself,” but there is limitation: “not . . . more highly than he ought to think.” 

Note also that Paul, speaking with the authority of an apostle, did so “through the grace [unmerited favor] given unto me,” and that he was speaking to those who had been dealt “the measure of faith.” He was speaking humbly to hearers who possessed faith, that is saving faith in Jesus Christ.